How I trusted in my Heart to bring me home to God
I was born a very sensitive being and early memories are of my mum often saying in exasperation, “Why can't you be like the others!”
I had this wild side to me, which did not seem to be fully conditioned as others were, plus a willful and rebellious nature, sometimes to my own detriment, and an innate ability to recognize the truth when I heard it. So there was this strange mixture of me: being wild and fiery, loving and easily hurt, with low self-esteem, looking for the truth, feeling lost and that I did not belong in my family or my community.
I read about the American Indians’ outlook on life and their experience of the sacred, and I felt as they did. I discovered that I had an ethnic heart in a white girl’s body and felt far removed from my tribe. Because of these feelings, my childhood was full of pain and the only thing that kept me going was that I was a top athlete and I lived for running and winning.
As to my religious upbringing, I am the only person I know of who was ever thrown out of Sunday School! When I asked my mum why I was not allowed to attend anymore, she said that I asked too many of the wrong questions and it was disruptive. When the story of Adam and Eve was being told to us, I said “What is the big deal about an apple anyway?” It did not bother me too much not going after that, as I never got straight answers and found the supernatural stories were hard to swallow.
In the playground at school, I remember watching the kids being mean to each other thinking, “Don't they know they are meant to love each other,” and thinking, “I better hide who I am or they will tear me apart.”
I attended an after-school club at a local church hall. It was religion-based, but it was fun, as along with the games they had art activities. We were told there was a prize for the person who brought the most kids along. Well, I forgot all about the prize and got lots of kids from school to come, because it was so much fun. I was very surprised on the day that my name was called to collect my gift, which was a Child's Illustrated Bible. The illustrations are very similar to those on the Truth for all People website.
I was not so much into reading the Bible at seven years of age, but I tried. I could not understand how knowing “who begat whom,” and so on, was going to help me understand God and what it all means. However, what I found was Jesus’ sayings written in red, so I read those as they spoke to my heart.
The biggest truth that I found accredited to him was to “love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind,” or something like that. That is the closest I got to the truth. I looked into my heart and saw I did love God and thought that’s all I really need to do is to keep loving God, so I did even when I felt I was at my most lost state. There was a lot of other good stuff he said, too, about loving and helping others, not cheating and lying.
So I continued on through my life having this deep spiritual side to me. I was asked to join the Bahai faith movement and to sign up on the dotted line by my weed-supply contact friend. I was asked to join the Hari Krishna movement by ex-acid head band members at a nightclub I used to attend. And I have looked into the new age movement but was not impressed by their dogmatic thinking or pretty little crystal pyramids. I declined all of those things and kept my sights set on God.
My search continued through reading, which was good. What I uncovered in my search relates to, and often confirms, the information that was received by James E. Padgett from Jesus, other spirits and the Celestial Angels – who worked with him for the good of all souls. Other spiritual knowledge has also been conveyed to me through my own inner experiences, meditations and contemplations on the truth.
At one point in my life, I read that in the moment of death one can command the soul into God’s hands. Well, I thought, “Why wait till then?” So I stopped and prayed and commanded my soul into God’s hands. And at that very moment, I heard the whole of the universe as it rose in a song of celebration of my coming home.
My life did not change in an instant, but steadily and surely it had been improving, until I was led to the truth of praying and asking for God’s Divine Love to fill my heart and soul and to keep praying, which is really important. But first, I had to pray for the trust and faith to believe that God wants to fill my heart and soul with His Love and Essence.
Now I know why I was led to this website - to share my experiences and to help hold the truth - pure and simple - as a light for others.
With all my heartfelt love,
Jill, Universal Sister